


The Ties That Bind Us

by originalgrissel



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:52:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalgrissel/pseuds/originalgrissel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack reflects on the emptiness of his life and Ianto brings things back into focus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ties That Bind Us

**Author's Note:**

> Missing Moment from "Meat" S2x04  
> I originally posted this back on Feb. 8th, 2008 to my livejournal and finally decided to go ahead and put it up here as well.

As Jack watched the monitor, Gwen and Rhys moved out of the frame, walking hand in hand back to their life. He’d been angry before, but not a Gwen, not really. If he was honest he had to admit that it was himself he’d been most angry with. All these years of keeping people at arms length, all these decades of never letting anyone get under that vintage woolen armor he wore and then he’d gone and let little Gwen Copper slip through somehow. Everything had gone to hell after that.

Because once she was through the crack in his defenses, once she’d made him start seeing that he couldn’t be human if he kept ignoring his own humanity, the walls he’d built around himself just sort of crumbled. Before Gwen had walked into their lives he probably would have retconned Ianto after he’d found out about Lisa and he’d have done the same to Owen or Toshiko if the situation had warranted it because those were the rules and they were all expendable. But now…now they had become something else to him. He’d started to let himself care, started to feel a connection with them all. They’d become his family and he hadn’t had one of those in a very long time…not since satellite five. 

Now when he looked at them he didn’t just see Torchwood, he saw people who were flawed and fallible, people he loved, people who filled the empty spaces in his life that too many years and too many losses had hollowed out. Before Gwen he never let himself look too deeply at the people around him because it was easier that way, safer. When you didn’t let yourself get emotionally invested in people you didn’t have to mourn them, you didn’t have to feel guilty when you got them killed, you didn’t have to be vulnerable.

He heard Ianto close the office door and step closer to the desk, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “You alright?”

He didn’t turn to face the younger man. He felt raw and open and more than a little afraid to let Ianto see him that way. “Yeah… fine.”

There was silence for several long moments and then he heard Ianto drawing closer, felt him stop just behind the chair, felt those long, strong fingers settling gently on his shoulders. Jack couldn’t hold back a slow, shuddering breath and he reached back to cover one of Ianto’s hands with his own.

“Is this the bit where you chastise me for not following the rules again?”

“Nope, not today.”

Surprised Jack turned slightly and looked up at Ianto. “Why not?”

“Because sometimes giving people what they need is more important than the rules.”  
He reached out, brushing his hand along Jack’s cheek. “You could have reconned me after Lisa…but you didn’t. You could have fired the lot of us after we opened the rift, but you forgave us and you did that because I think you’ve gotten tired of losing people. I think you need us just as much as we need you.” 

Jack shrugged, glancing away from eyes that were far wiser than they should have been at such a young age. “Gwen doesn’t need me. She proved that today.” 

He felt Ianto’s fingers gripping his jaw, turning him back to face those sharp blue eyes. “She does need you…and she needs Torchwood. But…It’s just not all she needs.”

He knew Ianto was right. It was selfish of him to expect Torchwood or this team to be enough for any of them; But he was selfish when it came to the people he loved. He wanted to know he could count on them, wanted to believe that he mattered enough. He wanted to know that they wouldn’t leave him behind…again.

As he looked up into Ianto’s face he felt a little of his fear fall away. “What about you, Ianto? What do you need?” 

His eyes softened and the hand that was gripping Jack’s face turned suddenly tender. “I’m not that demanding," he said with a faint smile, "I just need you .” 

Jack’s eyes drifted shut and he turned his face into Ianto’s caress, pressing a soft kiss to his palm. All those months he’d been away, all those months that he had endured the Master’s sick little games he’d imagined so many moments like this. He’d prayed that he’d get the chance to show Ianto, to show all of them how much they meant to him. It had kept him going, kept him sane, kept him hoping, but now, it scared the hell out of him. Could he let himself give up some of that damned control he had worked so hard to achieve when for the last year he'd felt like it was the only thing holding him together? Could he let someone else in enough to be as vulnerable as Gwen was with Rhys? Jack knew that if he didn’t at least try he might end up losing the people he was trying so damned hard to hold onto. 

He stood up and slipped his arm around Ianto’s waist, his hand sliding between his open waistcoat and crisp white shirt. He could feel the warmth of Ianto’s skin underneath, could feel the solid reality of his presence pressing against him and it brought him more comfort than he could have imagined. For the first time in a long while, he felt grounded by his own emotions. Maybe he could let someone in after all? Maybe he could let his love for someone matter more than Torchwood. Maybe he could be as brave as Gwen was.

Jack leaned closer pressing his forehead against Ianto’s and met the gaze of those hopeful blue eyes. “I need you too…” 

 

The End


End file.
